


The Shadow of Change

by im_the_king_of_the_ocean (RebelliousWhirlpool)



Series: Nana's Troll Husband AU [6]
Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Dark Implications, Depiction of an Unhealthy Relationship, F/M, Gen, Nana's Troll Husband AU, Part-Changeling Jim, Pre-Canon (takes place between 2000-2005), human-troll relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-03-21 04:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13732995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelliousWhirlpool/pseuds/im_the_king_of_the_ocean
Summary: Snapshots into Barbara Lake’s life as she balances becoming both a med student and a young mother.





	1. Positive Results

**Author's Note:**

> So, this takes place in my Nana's Troll Husband AU...yes, I'm sorta dragging Barbara into it because I like writing her and I have literally no impulse control. Also, this story concept sorta predates the AU. It was one of a couple ideas I started writing around when I wrote Secret in Arcadia Woods. I just had the most inspiration for Secret so it's the one that got finished then. Since by the time I decided to come back to this story, I'd created the AU, I thought it would be cool to set this story in it (a decision that has let to weird narrative places, let me tell you). That said, neither Nana/Margaret nor Vraxel will be in the 1st chapter, but they will make appearances later.
> 
> CONTENT NOTE: I wrote James Sr as manipulative, as actively withholding vital information about himself from Barbara, and verbally cruel to her on a couple occasions. Going in, just please be aware. I don't consider it a healthy relationship.

Barbara yanked her hoodie over her head, shoved her hands deep in her pockets, and marched through the automatic doors of the 24hour drugstore at the corner of Mulberry and Green. She ignored the cashier’s lackluster greeting and kept her eyes on her sneakers. She really should tie that shoelace already but she’d finally managed to get to the store and she didn’t want to stop now. It had taken four false starts already and this, this really needed to get done. Barbara sighed when she found the right aisle. She looked all around, but there was no one else there save the cashier, who’d started flipping through a magazine. Barbara stepped before the pregnancy tests.

Taking a few was a quick, relatively painless task if she didn’t think about why she was doing it too much. On her way back to the front of the store, Barbara stopped in the candy aisle and picked out a chocolate bar, then another, and then a bag of sour gummy candies. Then some peppermints. By the time she finished, her arms were so full of sweets that what she’d originally come in the store for was buried. Though, she still felt the smooth boxes resting on the palms of her hands underneath everything else.

The cashier raised an eyebrow over an otherwise disinterested face when Barbara dumped everything down on the counter. She returned the expression with a frown, a part of her daring the older man to comment on the items she’d picked out for purchase. He didn’t, though he did let out a suspicious huff at her. Barbara glared. The cashier scanned the first candy bar and dropped it in a waiting plastic bag.

It was a quick walk back to Barbara’s apartment building, made even quicker by her rushed pace.

“Hey, great you’re back, James the hot guy has been leaving messages like nonstop on the answering machine since—”

Barbara walked by her roommate relaxing on their apartment’s dilapidated sofa, Gina, without a second glance. She entered the bathroom, closed and locked the door behind her, and dropped her plastic bag of candy and tests on the floor. Barbara leaned on the door and slowly sank to the floor. On the other side of the door, she could hear Gina turn down the TV’s volume and the slap of her slippers as she approached the bathroom.

“Hey Barb? You ok in there?” Gina knocked twice on the door. “Look, I was just kidding around with the “hot guy” comment. You know me, I’d never steal your boyfriend. He’s not my type anyway. Plus I think Rachel would kill me if I dumped her for a guy.”

“Not now, Gina.” Barbara closed her eyes. “Look, I’ll be out in twenty minutes, ok?”

She wasn’t, but she did unlock the door so Gina could get in. When the door opened, Barbara was sitting on the floor, leaning against the cool, smooth surface of the bathtub. She didn’t look up or acknowledge Gina’s presence. Her thoughts had interestingly devolved into static. At first, her roommate approached her, but then stopped when she reached the minefield of pregnancy tests scattered across the floor. Gina bent down, picked one up, and looked at it.

“Oh, sweetheart.”

“It was right after he came back from Paris,” Barbara whispered. “James was so happy that a lead finally worked out so he got to recover one of the artifacts for his boss’s collection. I was just excited to see him again since he’d been gone for so long.” She stared at the ceiling light. It flickered. The bulb would need changing soon. One of them would have to go to the store to buy lightbulbs. They’d run out last week. She’d burned through a couple staying up late putting together materials for her secondary applications. “We went out to this fancy, upscale restaurant and then, you know, back to his place.”

“Have you told him yet?” Gina sat down next to her, close enough to be in hugging range, but far enough that Barbara still had space if she wanted it.

“No, Gina. Really? When in the past half hour did I have the chance? It’s not like I can drag the landline all the way into the bathroom.” Barbara glowered at her.

“Oh, sorry. I just thought. He’s been leaving a lot of messages. Like creepy stalker a lot.” Gina ran her hand through her hair. “It’s kinda been freaking me out.” She winced. “Sorry. You wanna go hear the messages? Or call him?” Gina took in Barbara’s expression. “Or I’ll just be quiet now and let you decide what to do next.”

Barbara groaned. “You’re fine, Gina. I’m just…I’m going to med school!” She threw her hands out in front of her for emphasis. “Med school!” Barbara put her head in her hands. “I…I don’t…I mean, I like the idea of being a mother. Some day. And yes, with James. But, med school!” Her grip tightened around fistfuls of hair. She let out a long breath. “I can’t afford both.”

Tentatively, Gina reached out and wrapped an arm around Barbara. “Yeah, but James works for a rich dude who pays him like bazillions to search for some archeological site stuff, right? If the guy can take you out to the most expensive places in town, he can definitely pay for baby stuff.”

“Sure,” It wasn’t quite an agreement, but Barbara didn’t really want to expand on that thought. Personally, she’d only met James’s boss, Mr. Scaarbach once, when she’d been heading into and he’d been heading out of James’s apartment. They hadn’t exchanged any words, but he’d looked at her with the same disapproving frown the more well-off clients of her parents’ computer repair store always gave her back when she’d worked the register as a teen. She couldn’t say she liked the guy or understood why James insisted he had to work for him. The likeliness of her boyfriend getting a sort of “I’m having a kid and need money” raise was slim in her mind.

“Look, Gina, can we just go watch TV or something? I don’t want really want to think about this right now.” Barbara pulled out of Gina’s embrace. She collected the pregnancy tests from the floor and shoved them in the trash. Then, she stood and collected the plastic bag still full of candy.

Gina watched Barbara do all this with a pensive expression. “You know I’ll always be here if you ever need to talk. Okay?”

“Okay.” Barbara helped her roommate up. Together they walked into their living room, bickered over whether or not Gina got to eat any of the candy Barbara purchased, concluded that Gina could have one chocolate bar and one bag of gummy worms, and flicked through TV channels until they found the pilot episode of a new show called _Mistrial and Error_.

It was when the credits started that the phone rang. Barbara picked it up.

“Hey babe, I’ve been trying to reach you. I know we had plans for our anniversary next month, but there’s been a new lead into one of the pieces of the bri—artifacts and I’m going to have to travel. Italy, can you believe it? I’ll bring you back something nice, I swear.”

Barbara didn’t catch most of what James said. Firstly, because of how fast he spoke. Secondly because, upon hearing his voice, her mind made a quick decision. Rather than wait for an opportune moment or build up to the point, she halted his stream of words with,

“James, I’m pregnant.”


	2. Welcome to Arcadia Oaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barbara and James arrive in Arcadia, where Barbara will go to med school, and meet their neighbors, the Domzalskis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Vernon" is Vraxel's human name when he's disguised as a human by either potion or glamour mask (I haven't decided yet).

“Barbara.  Barbuuurrra.  Barbaraaaah.”  The singsong voice woke Barbara from her slumber.

“Hmm?  What is it?”  She refused to open her eyes.  “I’m _sleeping_.”  Or at least, making a valiant effort to.  Though, the passenger seat of a car wasn’t exactly a prime nap location, she was determined to try while she had the opportunity.

James nudged her arm.  “Open your eyes, babe.  There’s something you have to see.”  When she ignored him, he poked her.  “Pleeease?”

“Fine.”  Barbara did as he asked, blinking at the sunlight that met her.  When she first decided to nap, they’d still back in bleak, gray skies of winter territory.  The fact that the sun shone done from above meant they’d finally arrived in a place where winter didn’t truly exist, California.  A large road sign directly in front of them reading, “Welcome to Arcadia Oaks”, confirmed her hypothesis.  They’d arrived in their destination.  Barbara studied the not-moving world outside the car’s windows.  “You parkedon the side of the highway just to show me a sign?”

James grinned his wild, mischievous grin at her.   “Yes.  It’s a very important sign.  A sign that marks the beginning of a new era!  James and Barbara Lake take Arcadia!  Come on, babe, show a little excitement.”  He pulled back onto the highway.  “We’ve come all this way for _you_.” 

Barbara offered the sheepish apology, “I know.  Sorry.”  She yawned.  “I think I’d be more enthusiastic if _someone_ didn’t like to kick and roll so much in the middle of the night.”  This was spoken to her rounded tummy and the baby currently peacefully doing absolutely nothing there.  Not for the first time, Barbara wondered if he, and she was definitely far enough along now to know it was a he, kept a schedule to move at only times that made it difficult for her to sleep.

“Still, James, thank you.  For all of this.”  Barbara reached over and placed a hand over the closer of his.  “I know it can’t be easy, giving up travel and-”

“We’ll reach the house in forty minutes or so.”  James brushed her off.  “I’ve set everything up so you’ll have a proper bed.”  He paused.  “Can’t have you sleepy for med school, after all.”

Barbara hesitated, then agreed.  “No, that certainly wouldn’t be good.”  She leaned back in her seat and watched the world go by.  A part of her still couldn’t believe she’d been accepted into the prestigious Arcadia University’s School of Medicine, _and_ received a scholarship too.  All while having a boyfriend who was willing to ask his boss for a desk job at his travel agency and buy a house in the same city, so they could raise their son there.

It seemed almost too good to be true.  Almost.  

Eventually, the world outside the car’s windows told Barbara they’d hit suburbia.  A never-ending stream of quaint, little houses and manicured lawns rushed past.  Barbara found herself paying more attention to the ones with bikes, play sets, _clear evidence of children_ , more than the others.  She wondered what her son would be like.  What kinds of things he would like.  She’d read a couple “what your baby will be like based on how your pregnancy is” magazine articles, but no description really seemed to fit.  Also she wasn’t sure she believed the idea that a baby’s movements in the womb were indicative of personality.  Absently, she flexed her fingers over him.  Regardless, it wouldn’t be very long until she found out the truth of the matter.

“We’re heeeeere,” James sang, pulling into the driveway of a well-to-do, tidy house.  He parked, took the keys from the ignition, flashed a smile at her, and exited the car.  Barbara watched as he danced around the front of the car, laughing as he drummed out a beat on the hood.  James opened her door with an elaborate flourish, made an exaggerated bow, and offered out his hand.  “At your service, my sweet.”

“Really, James?” 

“Yes.” James helped her from the car.  “I worked _so_ hard to put this _entire_ house together as a home in _so few_ months all so we could be settled before _junior_ here joins us.” He swiftly patted her large belly twice.  “Since I did it all for _you,_ the least you can do is offer a little praise.  Which I’ve more than earned.”

“James, I-” Before Barbara could finish James started up to the house, so she sighed and followed him.  While he fished around in his pocket for the key, she turned to face the rest of the cul-de-sac.  The other houses appeared peaceful.  Barbara saw no outward signs of children, but that didn’t necessarily mean they weren’t there.

While Barbara looked, an older woman exited the house directly across from theirs.  “Hello there, dearies!”  The woman called across the street, before starting over to them.  “I’ve been wondering when you’d be moving in.  I told Vra-Vernon just the other day that I didn’t think there’d ever be an end to the furniture delivery trucks!”

From beside her, Barbara heard James curse, jam the key in the lock, and force it around a bit.  Her brow furrowed with concern at his poor choice in words, but she didn’t have time to comment.  

When it was clear the door wouldn’t be budged before the woman reached them, James yelled, “I told you last time, _Margaret_ , we’d be moving in within the month.”  He rattled the key around, but it still refused to click the door open.  Only after James forcibly removed it and shoved it back in the lock, did the key finally manage to unlock the door.  “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve just had a very long drive and I really must get my wife inside so she can rest.”  He indicated for Barbara to step inside.  She didn’t.

“Now, there’s no need for that tone, young man.”  A little out of breath, Margaret reached them.  She turned to Barbara, “I won’t keep you long.  I remember being exactly where you are back when I had our Ralph and I know how much you must want to get off your feet.  I just wanted to introduce myself before I forgot.  My memory isn’t quite what it used to be these days.”  She outstretched a hand to Barbara.  “Margaret Domzalski.  I’ll bring a pie over later so we can really have a chance to chat.  I’m sure there’s much you want to know, being new to the neighborhood and all.”

Barbara took in Margaret’s appearance and tried to figure out just what it was about her that annoyed James so much.  Since all she could see was the friendly face of an older woman, she filed the thought away for later and introduced herself, “Barbara Mil- _Lake._ Lake, now.  Sorry.”  Mentally cursing her distracted brain, Barbara apologized more to James than Margaret.  “It’s only been a month since the wedding.”  She tried to catch her husband’s eye, but he opted to ignore her and silently fume.  So, Barbara turned back to Margaret.  “A pie sounds nice.  Maybe come by around 8?”  The idea of spending her first evening in a new house alone with a irate James wasn’t exactly appealing.

“I sure will.  Oh, and I’ll bring Vernon along too.  It was very nice to meet you, Barbara.”  Margaret took Barbara’s hand between her own and shook it vigorously.  Then she turned and walked back to her own house.

“Great.”  James muttered, ushering Barbara inside.  “Just great.  Now we’re never going to be rid of her.”

Barbara winced at his tone.  “She’s going to be our neighbor.  I didn’t want to be rude.”

“Yeah, well, you know those nosy old ladies you see in movies who involve themselves where they don’t belong?  She’s one of them.”  James groaned.  For a moment, Barbara thought his eyes flashed yellow, with slits for pupils.  She did a double take, but by then were their usual brown and glowering at her.  “Why couldn’t you have just come inside?”  He snapped.  “Now she’s bringing a _pie_ over.  With her husband, _Vernon._ ”

“It’s not the end of the world, James.”  Barbara sighed.  She wrapped her arms around herself as she wandered deeper into the house.  It was a nice house, certainly a place that one could conceivably raise a child in.  But it wasn’t home yet.  Home was back a couple days drive across the country in a city where both her friends and her parents resided.  “It’ll be nice to get to know some people here.”

James snorted.  “Huh.  Yeah, ok.  You say that _now._ Just wait until you meet the husband.  A real troll, that one.”

Vernon wasn’t literally a troll, at least not from Barbara’s perspective.  He was a tall, muscular man.  A silent, stoic type.  Not unsurprisingly, he let Margaret do most of the talking when they came over later that night.  

And talk Margaret did.  No one else could get a word in edgewise.  At the end of a story about Vernon and their son, Ralph’s antics at a junior league baseball game some years back, Margaret herself finally ended her long stream of narrative dialogue.

“Vernon, dear, why don’t you help James get these dishes in the kitchen while Barbara and I go sit?”  The way Margaret said the words, it was a more a statement of fact, a this is what will happen next sort of thing, rather than an actual question.  James opened his mouth to protest, but Margaret got up from the table and pulled a surprised Barbara along with her into the other room before he could.

Margaret kept a tight grip on Barbara’s wrist until they sat down on the couch.  She checked to make sure the men were in the kitchen before she spoke again.  “How are you doing, dearie?  You feeling alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”  Barbara carefully removed Margaret’s hand from her wrist and shifted back a bit from her.

“Good, good.  That’s very good.”  Margaret glanced back at the kitchen again.  “I need you to know, if you are ever in any trouble, if you ever feel unsafe, for whatever reason, no matter how strange you think it is, no matter how much you may think we won’t believe you, you can come to Vernon and me.  It doesn’t matter the time of day or anything else.  We can protect you.  We _will_ protect you.”

“I…ok.  That’s very…nice of you?”  Barbara pulled back further from Margaret.  “But I’m fine.  _We’re_ fine.”

“I know.”  There was something defeated in Margaret’s tone.  “And I’m so, so sorry.  But hopefully no one will _change_ and we’ll all just be happy neighbors.”  She grasped Barbara’s hands in her own and squeezed them as tight as she could.

Vernon and James exited the kitchen, then, and headed over to them.  

Margaret smiled a little too widely.  Her eyes held Barbara’s gaze with a sad expression.  She laughed an almost forced, cheery, little old lady laugh.  “Now why don’t you tell me a little about the baby?  Surely you must’ve picked out a name by now?”

Barbara studied Margaret’s face.  Then, slowly, she spoke, “umm…yes, yes we have.  James.  Well, James Jr., but we’re going to call him Jim.”  Without really thinking about it, she placed a hand protectively over the baby.

“Oh, how nice.”

The conversation returned to pleasantries from there. 

Later that night, Barbara found herself unable to sleep and not because the baby had started his nightly antics for once.  She rolled over on her side to face James’s sleeping form and shook his shoulder.

“James?  Honey, are you asleep?”

“I was.” Came the mumbled response.  “What is it?”

Barbara hesitated.  Then, “You know you can tell me anything, right?  We’re starting a family.  We need to be open with each other.”  She paused.  “I will love you no matter what.” 

James jerked himself up and faced her.  He propped himself up on his elbow.  “Where’s all this coming from?”

“Nothing.”  Barbara smoothed out wrinkles in the bedsheets.  “Just something Mrs. Domzalski said.  I, we did rush into things because of the baby and-”

“And I will love you as long as you may live.”  James quickly pecked her on the lips.  “You need to stop listening to crazy old ladies.”  He stroked her cheek and chuckled to himself.  “What, does she think I’m some shapeshifting, troll creature or something?”

That specific thought hadn’t occurred to Barbara.  She snorted.  “Don’t be silly.”

He laughed.  “Oh, I was being dead serious.”  He reached over and pulled her in close.  In a conspiratorial tone, he whispered in Barbara’s ear,  “See I’m really an eeeevil half-troll who’s isolated you on the other side of the country from everyone you know and love.”  James laughed again at her alarmed expression.  “You can’t actually believe what that old lady says, babe.  How long have you known me?  Would I ever hurt you?”

“James!”  Barbara swatted at his arm.  “Don’t joke around like that.  I was being serious.”

He bowed his head.  “Sorry, sorry.  You know I have a terrible sense of humor.  It’s part of why you fell for me, remember?  The library?  And the goofball who just wouldn’t leave you alone?  But I see I upset you.  Forgive me?”  James moved a loose strand of hair away from her face.  

“Of course.”  Barbara sighed and settled back down.  She reached for James’s arm and he obligingly wrapped it around her.  “But you’d make a poor comedian.  You know that, right?”

“Did I not just tell you how horrible I am?”  James buried his nose in the crook of her neck and left a trail of kisses up to her ear.  “That’s why I have you.  To reign in my altogether too morbid comedy act.”  He took Barbara’s chin in his hand and gently moved her head to face him.  “I blame it on the goth phase I went through as a teen.  You would have loved me even more back then.  I was quite the poet.”

Barbara stroked his goatee.  “Oh, I’m sure.  So, for your transgressions tonight, you have to read me some in the morning.”

“Now you’re the one joking.”

“Nope.  You owe me, mister.  And that’s exactly what I want.  That, and maybe some pancakes from that place passed on the way here.”  Barbara thought for a moment.  “Chocolate chip ones.  With syrup.  And a mountain of butter.”  When he gave her a look, she added, “That’s what you get for messing with your very pregnant wife when she wants you to tell her you love her in the middle of the night.  The duty of giving her whatever she wants in the morning.”

“Alright fine, now go to sleep.  You need all the rest you can get.”  James pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Barbara snuggled up against him and fell asleep.

 


	3. Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Jim is born, there's some complications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Note: This entire chapter takes place in a hospital. I don't go into too much detail on medical stuff, but Barbara is a inpatient and it starts off with Jim basically being on baby life support, so please be aware if you don't like hospital-related things.
> 
> Quick Reminder: This takes place in my Nana's Troll Husband AU, where "Vernon" is really a troll named Vraxel and Margaret is Nana.

Business in the hospital went on as per usual.  Barbara heard it bustling all around her, but her brain refused to acknowledge it.  Her palm pressed against the glass between the observation room and the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).  Her entire world was on the other side, hooked up to a breathing machine.  Though a part of Barbara still refused to accept that fact.

“Ms. Lake, please, I must get you back to your room.”

Barbara heard the anxiety in the nurse’s voice.  The woman hadn’t been supposed to allow her to leave her hospital room in the first place, but it hadn’t been very hard to bully her into it.

“Just five more minutes.”  Barbara rasped.  Her voice choked up, but she forced words out anyway.  “He’s my _son._   You have to understand.  _He’s my son._ ”  She looked again at the newborn on the other side of the glass.  At first glance, there was nothing inherently wrong with him.  But then one saw the bluish tint to his skin, the oddly pointed tips of his ears.  If one were to hold him, they would feel that he wasn’t as soft nor as delicate as the average newborn.  Though no one could figure out what, there was definitely something wrong with her boy.

“I can’t leave him.”  The very thought terrified Barbara.  What if something happened while she was gone?  Sure, a glass window separated them, but he wasn’t completely alone while she remained here.  “Please, he needs me.  I can’t leave him.”

“I know.”  The nurse spoke in a pitying tone.  “But he’s going to need his mother to be rested.”  She placed her hands on the handles of Barbara’s wheelchair.  “Now, we’re going back to your room.  Ok?”

Barbara wanted to fight.  To say “No, I’m not going”.  To scream.  She gripped the armrests of the wheelchair.  Almost managed to push herself up, but the world spun in lopsided, dizzying circles.  She squeezed her eyes shut to block them out until the nausea passed.  When she opened them again, the nurse had squatted down to be at her height.

“You good, sweetie?”

Barbara pressed her lips tightly together and nodded.  She looked down at her hands.  Let her hair fall to conceal her face and the tears quietly dripping off her chin.

“Look.”  The nurse took a breath.  “I know it’s scary right now, but we have a great medical team here.  They’ll figure out what’s going on with your baby and make him better.  I’ll try and check on him as often as I can.  If anything changes, I’ll tell you immediately, ok?”

“Thank you,” Barbara whispered.

“Alright good.”  The nurse started to move Barbara’s wheelchair.  “We’re going to take it nice and slow until you’re back in bed.”

They arrived in the hospital room without much more fuss.  There, the nurse helped Barbara transition from chair to bed.

Sinking into her pillows, Barbara admitted to herself it felt quite nice to not have to move.  Her eyelids felt like cement, but she fought to stay awake and ask the question, “Has James come?”

“No, not yet.”  The nurse paused.  “I’ll see if I can get a phone in here for you.”

While someone from the hospital maintenance staff set up the phone, Barbara decided to rest her eyes.  Just for a minute.  She couldn’t do anything until they were finished anyway.

By the time she woke up, Barbara was alone again.  She tried not to think about it as she picked up the phone and dialed James’s number.  Like all the times she’d called him before calling an ambulance when she went into labor, he didn’t pick up.

Barbara sighed.  She stared at the phone in her hand.  Glanced up at the empty hospital room around her.  Finally, she dialed another number.

“Miller Computer Repairs.  Holly speaking.  How may I help you?”  Came through from the other end.

Barbara hesitated.  Her mind went blank.  What was she supposed to say?

“Hello?  Is anyone there?  I’m going to hang-”

“Hi!  Mom, it’s me.  Barbara.  Barbara, your daughter.”  The words rushed from Barbara’s mouth.  She clenched the phone.  The heart monitor next to her bed’s beat increased.  Barbara took a slow breath in and out.  She was fine.  Fine.

“Barb?  Oh, hi, honey.  You know I’m running the store right now, so this really isn’t the best time.  Maybe call back around closing?”

Barbara bit her lip.  “Mom, it’s kind of important.  I-”

“Look, if this is about your father, I told Gina not to tell you.  He’s perfectly fine.  We took him home from the hospital two days and he’s recuperating well.  It was just a little fall.  We just didn’t want to worry you, honey.  Since you’re all the way out in California and all.”

“I-what?  What happened to dad?”

The heart monitor’s beat increased again.

“Gina didn’t tell you?  He slipped and hurt his foot, but he’s ok.  Don’t you worry about us, honey.  We’re fine.”  Holly let out a little laugh.  “Though, and this is just between us girls, your father is starting to drive me a little crazy.  He hates being on bed rest.  You can imagine.”

“I…that’s good.  I’m glad he’s ok.” Barbara tried calming her breathing again, but didn’t really succeed.  “Mom, there’s something I have to tell you.  I-I…”

The words she wanted to say spun around Barbara’s head, but didn’t quite manage to make it out.

Instead she said, “I gave birth, mom and…he’s perfect.  A perfect baby boy.  He’s so cute and…James is here.  He’s holding him now and its…wonderful.  Everything is wonderful here.”

“That’s great, honey!  You know, this is just the news we needed.  Your father will be so happy.  I’m going to close up early so I can go home and tell him.  Oh, and be sure to send pictures as soon as you can.  We’d love to see our little guy.  Give him a kiss from grandma for me?”

“I will.”  Barbara’s sight blurred.  She hung up before the first tears fell.

Barbara let herself cry silently.  Then she took off her glasses and wiped her eyes.  Took a deep breath.  Made a final call.  

It took three tries before the Domzalskis picked up.  They’d gone out for the day and had just arrived back when they answered.

“Hello, Margaret?  It’s Barbara Lake, from across the street.  I’m…I’m in the hospital and, can you come?”

Barbara spent most of the hour it took for the Domzalskis to arrive staring at the ceiling.  She counted the ceiling tiles.  She did _not_ think about her newborn son.  Recounted the tiles to make sure she got the number right.  There were 48.   She closed her eyes and listened to her heart monitor.  She did _not_ consider how he was all alone in an incubator, attached to strange, beeping machines.  She tried to regulate her breathing.  Barbara opened her eyes again and noticed her glasses were smudged.  She took them off to clean.  She did _not_ ruminate on the fact she hadn’t been able to hold her baby before the doctors whisked him away for examination.  Rather than put her glasses back on, Barbara placed them on her bedside table.  She closed her eyes again.

A part of her wished she hadn’t lied to her mother.

Barbara still rested with her eyes closed when Margaret and Vernon arrived.  She didn’t see them walk in.

A hand stroked her hair away from Barbara’s face.

Barbara’s eyes flew open and darted around.  Her heart hammered and only calmed some when she saw Margaret.

“Shhh.  You’re ok, dearie.  Everything’s ok.”  Margaret took a plastic cup off the bedside table and placed it in Barbara’s hand.  She waited until Barbara had a firm grasp on it before she let go.  “Here, drink some water.”

Barbara did as she was told.  Then handed the empty cup off to Margaret to be refilled.  After drinking three more cups of water, her mind came into sharper focus.  “The baby?  Jim.  How is he?  They said they’d tell me, but-have they been here?  Why didn’t they wake me?”  She braced her hands on the bed and shoved herself up.  Barbara tried to ignore the wooziness that rushed through her head, but she swayed regardless.

“The baby’s doing just fine.  Vernon is watching over him.”  Margaret placed a hand on Barbara’s shoulder and gently guided her back down against the pillows.  “You don’t have to worry.  We’re here now.  Everything’s going to be ok.”

“No.  _No,_ it’s not _._ Nothing’s _ok_.My son-my baby-is in the _NICU_.  There’s something wrong.  They don’t know what’s wrong.  He’s fine, but he’s not fine.”  Barbara words ran into each other, jostled for the best position, and came out a jumbled mess.  “He’s my _son._ He could _die._ Don’t tell me everything is fine when he-” She choked back a sob.

“Barbara, listen to me.” Margaret spoke softly.  She wrapped her hands around Barbara’s and squeezed them.  “There’s a way to save your son.  I know what it is.  I had to do something similar once before, with my own child.”

“What?”  Barbara stared at the other woman.  Then, her brows furrowed.  “If you know something, you have to tell the doctors.  Now.  Go!”  She pointed Margaret toward the door.

Margaret let out a long breath.  “I’m afraid it’s not that simple, dear.  What your son needs is magical in nature and cannot be found in modern medicine.”  She squeezed Barbara’s hands again.  “Please, I know what I’m about to tell you won’t make much sense, but you have to trust me.”

“I…” Barbara took a deep breath.  “Whatever it is, if it will save my Jim, I will do it.”

…

The hospital settled into an eerie quiet when night came along.  Barbara knew, in actuality, the small world of the medical facility remained in peaceful bliss, but she felt none of the calm.  Her gut sat ill at ease after hours of twisting and knotting itself. 

Midnight came.  And so did Margaret.  She helped Barbara in a wheelchair.  They went to the NICU in silence.  The only sound the clacking of the wheels of Barbara’s IV stand against the floor tiles.  Thankfully, no doctors were around.

Barbara wondered if Margaret or Vernon had done something to ensure their absence.  She didn’t have much time to consider the thought. 

Vernon waited for them at the NICU.  When they arrived, he placed a ring of glowing crystals around Jim’s incubator.  

Once set, the crystals started to glow.  They cast red, yellow, green, blue, magenta light on their faces and Jim’s sleeping form in regular intervals.

“You will have to speak the incantation after me.”  Vernon instructed Barbara.  His eyes met hers and held her gaze.  “As you share a relation with the child, only you can complete the enchantment.”

Barbara nodded.  

Vernon helped her stand up.  

Then they began.

Barbara struggled to pronounce the strange sounds that didn’t quite seem like words coming from Vernon.  But she persisted and soon her voice chanted without error.

The crystals’ pulse from color to color increased.  They flashed each hue in a blink, and then the next, and the next, and the next.  Faster and faster.

Brilliant light shone before Barbara’s eyes.  She fought the urge to blink, to break off from the spell.  The barrage of light made her head ache.  A ringing split her ears.  But she forced each word out until the very last.

Then silence.  Tranquility.  The illumination faded from the crystals, leaving them cool and gray.  Lingering rainbows drifted over Jim’s little body.  Gradually, they faded, leaving him the normal hue of a healthy baby.  No bluish tint or pointed ears in sight.

Barbara felt the last of her energy drain from her.  She shuddered, then crumpled to the floor.  Her head throbbed.  Her ears rang.  Everything _ached_ , but she didn’t care.  Her son breathed easily.  She closed her eyes as someone gently gathered her up in their arms.

“They’ll both be fine, won’t they?”  Barbara heard Margaret ask.  “There has to be more magic we could-”

“Do not fear.”  Vernon’s response made his chest rumble, which confirmed it was he that carried Barbara.  “Both mother and child will be well.  The magic exhausted her, but sleep will heal her.  And the child’s Changeling nature has been subdued.  It remains, but dormant.  It will not affect him.”  He carefully lay Barbara down in her bed.

Upon finding itself against cushiony, soft pillows, Barbara’s brain immediately opted, once again, to sleep.

…

Barbara gazed down at the newborn sleeping in her arms.  He was beautiful.  Her beautiful little boy, James Lake Jr.  _Jim._   She stroked gently around his face.  He slept now, but she’d nursed him earlier.  Barbara adjusted the beanie she’d been given to keep his head warm.

The doctors were still concerned about his health, but they couldn’t find reason to argue with his “miraculous” recovery or to keep him from her.

Jim woke up.  He yawned.  His little arms wiggled in his blankets, but he didn’t manage to escape-Barbara had him wrapped up too carefully.  Jim’s mouth opened in a round, sort of smile-shape and he gurgled some baby noises.

“Hey there, kiddo,” Barbara cooed.  “I’m your mom.”

In response, Jim fell back asleep.

Barbara smiled at her son.  She wrapped her arms around him better and sighed in contentment.  Everything was perfect now.  Jim was doing just fine.  He was just like any other ordinary newborn.

Except he wasn’t.

That reminder clung to the back of Barbara’s mind no matter how much she wished it would just _go away_.  She wanted, more than anything, to believe the events of the past day were a bad dream her fatigued mind had concocted to deal with the fact she’d been all alone when her son had come into the world.  But a part of her didn’t.  The memory of rainbow-shining crystals, strange non-words, and magic lingered too clearly in mind.

Barbara looked over to where James now slept sprawled across a chair by her bedside.  He’d finally shown up an hour after she asked Margaret and Vernon to give her some time alone with Jim.  Whatever he really was or whatever was going on with him-this “Changeling” business Margaret had told her about-she would wait for him to tell her himself, when he was ready.

After all, they were a family now.

And he would, she was certain of it.

Eventually.

 


	4. Five Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lakes celebrate Jim's 5th birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT NOTE: Some cursing, physical violence (James roughly pushes Barbara around/degrades her in one scene and in the next they get in a physical fight - James may also be hit in the gronk nuts), and an attempted kidnapping.
> 
> **This is the darkest chapter, I think, of this entire story (basically now is the time everything erupts).

The digital clock on Barbara’s night table read SAT 9:30am, which meant she had a luxurious half hour before she really needed to get out of bed.  So, Barbara sighed in contentment and buried her face in her pillow.  Sleep wasn’t the easiest thing to acquire these days.

Only an ear constantly half-tuned to listening for noises on the other side of the bedroom wall would be able to hear the thump when it dropped.  Luckily, Barbara possessed such an ear.  A part of her mourned the loss of a little extra sleep, but every other part of her paid attention to the ensuing noises.  The slight creak of the other room’s door opening just enough to let a small body through.  The soft pit-patter of bare feet down the hallway between that door and her bedroom’s door.  The whoosh of air being displaced as her door opened.  The accidental giggle that escaped the lips of a little boy.  The subsequent gasp and smack of hands against a mouth to cover up any more such noises.

Barbara felt just a bit guilty for not waking and warning James, but he honestly should know better by now.  She braced herself for impact.

“RAAAAH!”

It took Jim two jumps to properly land on the bed.  The first time he only made it about halfway before he slipped off.  Barbara prepared to help him, but he clambered up before she got the chance.  And then he climbed and sat on her stomach triumphantly.

“Got you, mom!”  Jim slapped his hands against her shoulders and shoved his face right up next to hers.  “Do you know what today is?”  He loudly whispered to her.

Barbara smiled at him wickedly.  “I have absolutely no idea, kiddo.”  Oh, Barbara knew.  She knew fully well what day it was, but she wasn’t above a little teasing.

“ _MOOOOM_!”  Jim sat up and pouted.  “You _know_.  You gotta know!”

“I do?”  Barbara tapped a finger against her chin.  “It’s March _19th_?  Now, what could be so special about the 19th of March, I wonder.  James, honey, do you know?”  She shook James awake, all while not taking her eyes off Jim.

“Mhmm…ten more minutes.”  James rolled over and pulled his pillow over his head.  

Jim was having none of that.

“IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!”  Jim shouted at the top of his lungs.  He maneuvered his way across Barbara, which involved squashing his foot against her cheek, to shake his father’s shoulder.  “GET UP DAD IT’S MY BIRTHDAY AND MOM FORGOT!”

Barbara winced as Jim yelled directly in James’s ear.  Though, it was an effective method of rousing him.  James propped himself up on his elbow and took in the site of his son’s eager face centimeters away from just a little below his own and, behind Jim, his wife watching them with an amused expression.

“Mom forgot your birthday?  Well, we can’t have that.  Now, can we, junior?”  James tousled Jim’s hair.  “Tell you what.”  He beckoned his son to move in close.  When Jim did, he told him in a conspiratorial whisper, “We should tickle her.”

“Oh no, you two aren’t-” Barbara had about a second to prepare herself before Jim barreled into her and began a tickle attack.  She “oofed” as she was pushed against the headboard.  “Jim, Jim sweetie.”  She gasped between giggles.  “I didn’t really forget your birthday.”

“But, you SAID!”

“I know and I’m very sorry.”  Barbara leaned forward and bowed her head before Jim.  “I am at your mercy, oh birthday boy.”  She counted to ten, lunged forward, and started her own tickle attack.

“No fair!  _No fair_!  NO FAIR!”  Jim rolled from side to side, clutching his arms around his belly as he laughed.  “I gotta.”  He took a deep breath.  “I gotta PEE!”  He ran out of the room, knocking the door against the wall as he went.  His parents watched him enter the bathroom and slam that door behind him.

“I guess that’s our cue to get up.”  James grunted as he rolled out of bed.

Barbara followed after him.  She closed their door just enough so that Jim wouldn’t be able to see in, but they could still hear what he was doing.  Then, she walked over to her dresser, picked out a blouse and jeans, and started to change.  Without thinking about it, she threw her night clothes in the general direction of the bed.

“Hey!”  James pulled her clothes off his head and tossed them back at her.  “ Watch it!”

Barbara winced.  “Sorry, forgot you weren’t still sleeping.”

A couple minutes later, James cut in front of Barbara when she started for the door.  She tripped, seized the back of his shirt to steady herself, and wound up pulling him down with her.  They landed in a tangled heap on the floor.

This time it was James who apologized.  “You’re usually gone by now.”

“We need to get better at this.”  Barbara struggled to get up.  “It’s been fiveyears.”

James helped her stand.  “Hey now.  We have plentyof time to figure out how to be an old married couple.”  He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her in close.  “Later.  I have no intention of growing old just yet.”  He ran his fingers into her messy hair and kissed her.

“EEEWWW!  _Gross_!”  There were running footsteps away from their door and a troubling thud.  

Barbara pushed herself out of James’s embrace and hurried after it.  “Jim, sweetie, are you ok?”  She found him on the floor of his room, hugging his knee to his chest.  “Let me see.”  Barbara sat on the floor next to Jim and reached for him.  “James, get some band-aids!”  She yelled back over her shoulder.

Jim shuffled closer to Barbara and pulled up his pajamas pant leg so she could see the quickly healing bruise on his knee.  “S’not that bad, mom.  I fell cause you guys were being icky.”  He studied her face in the way all children did when they thought they could get away with something.  “Can I have ice cream for breakfast?”

“Jim, no.”  Barbara sat back and gave him her best disapproving mother look.  “You know you need healthy food to start the day.”

“Awww.  But it’s my birthday.”  Jim’s lower lip quivered.

“Oh, come on, babe.  It’s his birthday.”  James entered the room.  He placed a box of Spiderman band-aids down next to Barbara.  “Everyone deserves ice cream on their birthday.”

Barbara took one of the band-aids and carefully placed it on Jim’s knee.  The bruise was almost healed, but she wasn’t sure she wanted James to see that.  “Oh, alright.  But you’re dealing with his sugar rush later.”

“YAY!”  Completely over the brief distress of being hurt, Jim jumped up and rushed for the door.  James caught him and swung him up in his arms before he made it there.  Jim shrieked with joy as James spun him around.

“What, you thought you could go running off again?”  James taunted him.  “And make your mom worry when you fall down?”

“Wasn’t gonna fall!  Wasn’t gonna fall!”

“No, I think I better carry you.”  James deposited Jim on his shoulders.  “To the kitchen!  For ice cream!”

“FOR ICE CREAM!”

They charged out of the room, across the hall, and downstairs.  Barbara shook her head at their antics, picked up the band-aid box to return to the bathroom, and followed them.

In the kitchen, a set of Eggo waffles popped up in the toaster with a pleasant little ding.  They were quickly snatched up by an eager Jim and plopped down on a waiting plate.

James pulled the plate over to his side of the counter and scooped three massive globs of double chocolate chunk on top of them.  He squeezed rivers of chocolate sauce down on the ice cream mountains.  Then finished by topping off the breakfast treat with some whipped cream and sliced bananas.

“See?  It’s nutritious.”  James showed off the bananas to Barbara when she entered the kitchen.  They did not impress her.  He passed the treat and a spoon off to Jim anyway.  “Go wild, junior.”

Rather than watch Jim make an enormous mess, Barbara opted to start decorating the house.  Jim’s birthday party didn’t start until 1:30, but there was a lot to get done before then.  The streamers and the big “Happy Birthday Jim” banner needed to go up.  There was a massive bundle of balloons stashed away in the garage that would have to be tied in such places that Jim couldn’t reach.  He’d learned of the squeaky, high-pitch voice he could achieve by sucking their helium out when Barbara first brought the balloons home and she was not particularly interested in a repeat performance.  Other odds and ends, such as checking on the cake hidden from Jim in a mini fridge in the basement, had to be seen to.

By the time 1:30 rolled around, everything was ready.

The doorbell rang while Barbara was still in the basement.  She smiled at the Gun Robot-themed birthday cake before closing it back in the mini fridge.  Two pairs of footsteps, one running and one not, overhead told her the boys would reach the door before her.  Then the chorused yells of;

“TOBY!”

“JIMBO!”

told her that it was the Domzalskis who’d arrived.  Barbara reached the top of the stairs just in time to witness Jim and his new best friend, the Domzalskis’ little grandson, Tobias charge down the hall, out the kitchen door, and into the yard to take up what appeared to be some kind of pirate adventurer game.

James came down the hall next.  “You can take care of them.”  He jerked his head back toward the front door, where Margaret and Vernon still stood.  “I’ll watch junior and the fat one.”

“Don’t call Toby-”  James was outside before Barbara could admonish him.  She sighed, but went to greet the Domzalskis regardless.

The backyard soon filled with a pack of running, shouting children.  Barbara’s hope that they wouldn’t figure out how to get to the balloons ended up being short-lived.  She’d just managed to retie the last of helium-filled monstrosities higher up on the fence when Jim rushed up to her.

“MOM MOM MOM MOM!”  Jim took in a deep breath when he reached Barbara. “We were playing freeze tag and Eli fell over and hurt his knee and I told him you’re a doctor and we have Spiderman bandaids but he likes _Mulan_ ones better and you gotta come help.”  He grabbed her hand and tugged.  _“_ Come _on_!”

Thus, two hours passed in a flurry of movement, bandaids, and Jim rushing back and forth between Barbara and his playmates when they fell or scraped their knees.  Most of the children Jim pulled his mother over to weren’t hurt too badly, just a few cuts and bruises, but it seemed he enjoyed boasting, “my mom is a doctor!”.  Barbara didn’t have the heart to correct him in that she wouldn’t technically be a doctor until she graduated at the end of May.

James walked up to where Barbara had created a mini first-aid station at one end of the snack table.  He opened his mouth to address her, but Jim and Toby rushed up to them before he could get his first word out.

“Present time now?  Toby says he and his grandparents got me something really really cool!”  Jim looked eagerly between his parents.  “Pleeeease?”

Barbara looked to James, who pressed his lips thinly together.  He threw up his arms in what she knew to be his “ok fine, let’s do that” expression.  Barbara frowned, but hid it behind a smile when she turned back to Jim.  “Ok, kiddo.  How about you tell all your friends to meet us over there?”  She pointed him in the direction of the table where the presents had been stacked.

Jim looked again between his parents.  His smile briefly faltered, but then Toby pulled him toward the presents table.  He turned and ran off with his friend.

It took a couple minutes for both kids, and the parents who’d stayed to help watch them, to gather and for Barbara to set up a special, birthday boy fold-out chair for Jim to sit in.  Everyone else had to make do with the grass with the exceptions of Margaret, who quietly asked for her own chair as her old joints would make it difficult to get up if she sat on the ground, James, who stood off to one side, and Barbara herself, who stood ready to hand Jim presents. 

James plopped a haphazardly made paper crown on Jim’s head.  Then, he hefted his and Barbara’s gift to their son out of the pile and dropped it down before Jim.

“There you go.  From your mother and me.”

Jim grinned.  He tore into the wrapping paper.  Once a piece separated from the present, he flung it to the side.  Barbara dutifully caught each piece and wadded them up to be thrown out properly later.

“Cool!”  Jim finished off the last of the wrapping paper.  His excitement waned at the large box he’d revealed and its lack of clear indicators as to what toy waited inside it.  “What is it?”

James tousled Jim’s hair.  “A bike kit.  We’re going to build it together and then I’ll teach you how to ride.”

“YAY!  EVERYBODY LOOK AT MY BIKE MY DAD’S GONNA HELP ME MAKE!”  Jim tried to lug the bike kit toward his friends, but it outweighed him so he didn’t get far.  

Vernon leaned forward from where he sat and helped Jim show it off.  Toby, Eli, and the other kids oohed and aahed.  

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”  Jim hugged James and then Barbara, who wrapped her arms around her son and squeezed tightly.  Then Jim was grabbing for the next present.

Barbara soon found herself presiding over a heap of ripped wrapping paper.

“I think that’s the last of them.”  Barbara looked all around the presents table, but its surface sat empty.  All around her son were unwrapped toys of various shapes and sizes.  “I’ll be right back.  Why don’t you guys start playing with all of these?  They look super fun.”  She encouraged Jim, motioning for him to share his new toys with Toby and the others.  Once the kids were properly distracted, she snuck inside.

In the kitchen, Barbara grabbed six candles-one extra one for luck-and a matchbox she’d stashed in a drawer.  She glanced outside to make sure Jim hadn’t followed her, then crept down to the basement to prepare the cake.

Barbara had just pushed the last candle into the frosting when the stairs creaked under footsteps.  She jumped, blocking the cake from view.  But it was only James who had joined her.  Barbara let out a relieved breath.

“You scared me, James.  What are you doing down here?  I thought we agreed you’d keep him distracted while I get it ready.”

James didn’t say anything.  He sauntered over to Barbara.  Placed his hands on her waist.  Pulled her in close.  He brushed her hair out of her eyes.

“What are-?”

James cut Barbara off by kissing her. 

Barbara shoved him off.  “Honestly, honey, what are you doing?  Jim’s going to wonder where-”

“How about we let the kid wonder, hmm?  There’s plenty of adults up there.”  James stroked her cheek.  “He’ll be fine without you for five minutes.”  He leaned in for another kiss.

Barbara turned her head to avoid James.  “I really don’t think _right now_ during our son’s _birthday party_ is the best time for this, James.”  She struggled to pull away from him again, but he held her too tightly.

“Then when is, babe?”  James huffed.  He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.  His nails dug into her.  “Tell me, _when._ Because I’ve waited.  I’ve waited _five years_ but it never seems to be the right time for you.  I’ve been _patient_.  I’ve _played along._ Hell, I even changed the little brat’s _diapers_.  Yet, _you_ always _avoid_ me.  I am _sick_ of going along with your little fantasy.”

“What-what are you talking about?”  Barbara pulled at James hands, but she couldn’t get them to budge.  “James, please, you’re hurting me!”

“Oh, I’m hurting _you_?”  James pushed himself closer to Barbara, forcing her to take a step back.  “Really?  Tell me, why should I _care_ when all you’ve done is disappoint me?”

“W-what?”

“You heard me.  For a human, you’re intelligent-” James broke off with a laugh “like I would’ve chosen a bimbo.” His attention returned to Barbara and he scowled.  “But you should have figured it out by now.”

“Figured out what?  James, please, I don’t understand-”

James didn’t answer, but forced Barbara back another step.  Her leg bumped into the mini fridge.  The cake topped from its precarious position atop it and smashed into the floor.  Barbara felt her foot sink into it when she stumbled back further.  She winced, but she had more pressing matters to deal with.

“Please, James, why-”

“Because.”  James pinned Barbara against the wall.  He placed his hands on either side of her head.  “You.  Are.  A.  Toy.  _My_ toy.”  He ignored her panicked breathing and stroked her cheek with a finger.  “But I’m _tired_ of playing along.  I thought I’d give you one last chance yet you still manage to disappoint me.”  He sighed.  “Since all you seem to care about is that brat running around upstairs.”

“James-”

“No.”  He snapped.  “You will see.  In a year or two, none of that.”  He gestured to the ceiling.  “Will even matter.  Gunmar will rise again.  The world, as you know it, will end.  This little fantasy life you’re so attached to is _worthless_.”  He stepped back, but still blocked any escape route Barbara may have had.  “Since you seem to be having trouble comprehending, I think I’ll show you.”

A blinding flash blocked out Barbara’s vision.  She threw her arm in front of her eyes.  When she looked again, James had changed.  Changed into something…Barbara couldn’t quite believe her eyes.  Her husband was no longer human.  He was a deep shade of blue.  Yellowy-green crystals jutted out all over his body.  A pair of thick, bony horns curved up from his head.  His eyes glowed the brightest shade of yellow imaginable.  He grinned at her, revealing a mouth of pointed teeth.

“So, dear, what do you think of your Changeling husband?”

“James-”

“No.  No, don’t say anything.”  James put up a hand to stop her.  “I know you think I’m even more handsome like this.  But you still need to learn a lesson.”  He glanced around.  His eyes fell on the destroyed cake.  “And I think I know the perfect one.”  Another flash and James was human again.  He ran over to the stairs.  “JUNIOR!  COME HERE!”  He yelled up in a singsong voice.  James took the stairs two at a time and was gone through the door at the top.

Barbara’s breath caught in her throat.  Her heart hammered.  Her hands shook.  She took a deep breath, but that did little to calm herself.  Her brain tried to focus on what had just happened, but she couldn’t think clearly.  Nothing made sense.  She trembled.  James was…that meant he really was…and that Jim… _Jim_!

Barbara ran after James, terrified of what she might find.

Upstairs everything was as it had been.  The sun shone.  Kids played in the backyard.  Barbara froze at the door to the basement.  Her brain struggled to comprehend the normalcy of it all.  She looked left.  Right.  All over.  Jim.  Where was Jim?  There!  The backyard.  Him and Toby were playing with a new toy fire engine.  Barbara breathed a sigh of relief.  Then she saw James marching toward them.

“Junior.”  James spoke to his son in his “you may be in trouble” father voice.  “I’ve been calling for you.”  He reached his son.  His shadow fell across Jim’s smiling face.  “Your mother had a little trouble with the cake so I have to go to the store and buy some frosting, you want to come along?”

Jim pouted.  “Ah, but dad, I wanna play-”

“I’ll let you sit in the front seat,” James said flatly.

Jim jumped up.  “Okay!”

James picked up Jim in his arms and walked to the house.

Barbara blocked him at the door.  “James, where are you taking him?”  Her voice shook even though she tried to sound firm.  “James!”  Her voice cracked as he grunted and changed direction, heading for the fence gate out of the yard.  “ _JAMES_!”  That drew the attention of everyone at the party.  Heads turned.

“S’okay mom.”  Jim reassured her from over James’s shoulder.  “Dad and me are going to get frosting cause he said you messed up the cake, but it’s ok.  He said I could be in the front seat.”

“No.  Jim, you aren’t going anywhere.”  Barbara told her son, voice wavering.  “This is your party.  You need to stay here.  James, he needs to stay here.”  She begged her husband, who ignored her as he walked.  “James, listen to me.  Please.  We can work this out.  Talk about it.  _Please_.  Don’t take him away from me.”  She ran after him.

James stopped.  Turned.  “Do you know how you sound, _Barbara_?  Like I said, you mistakenly only care if this little brat is involved,” he spat.  “So, just as a reminder of what’s truly important, I’ve decided you can no longer have him.”  James paused.  “But, if you’re good and do what I want, I may just consider bringing him back.”  He snorted.  “Maybe.  Or not.  I’d have to think about it.”

“ _NO_!”  Barbara lunged.  Behind her she heard people shout, but she didn’t care.  Her hands found purchase around Jim’s waist.  She pulled.  James pulled back, stepping away from her.  Jim cried out.  Barbara stomped on James’s foot.  Hard.  Desperate, she jerked her knee up to slam her husband between the legs.  

James screamed.  Released Jim enough that Barbara could grab her son out of his arms and get him away.  James keeled over.  “You.  Fucking _._ BITCH!” he roared, rose again, and stormed toward Barbara.

Barbara stumbled back.  She clutched Jim close despite his protests.  Wrapped her arms protectively around her son and held his head against her chest.  “Don’t you dare touch him.”  She snapped at James.  “Don’t you fucking dare.”

“Or you’ll what?”  James chuckled.  “Aren’t you forgetting who the one with all the power here is?  I’ll even give you a hint, it’s not _you_.”  He launched himself at her. 

Barbara dodged.  James caught her arm.  She could feel his nails dig into her skin.  She twisted and managed to break out of his grasp for a split second.  Enough time to see James’s other arm raise above her and Jim.  She ducked down, pressed Jim against the ground, and shielded him with her body.

Blood droplets dripped and sunk into the grass.  Barbara’s eyes widened.  “Jim.  Jim, honey, where are you hurt?”  Her voice shook.  She looked over her son, trying to find the wound.

“Mom.  Mom, you’re face is…”  Jim’s lower lip wobbled.  “Please, stop fighting.  I won’t sit in the front seat.  I’ll be good.”

“Do you hear that, Barbara?  He’ll be good.”  James loomed above them.  “So stop embarrassing yourself in front of all our guests.  You’re being ridiculous.”  He gestured to the parents and children who’d gathered around, but were too hesitant to intervene.  To them in his sweetest voice, he said, “There’s nothing going on here.  We just had a minor disagreement, that’s all.  Nothing to worry about.”

“She’s _bleeding_.”  Margaret pushed her way through the crowd.  “I wouldn’t call that _nothing_.”

Barbara finally touched her hand to her jawline, where her brain was just now registering pain.  Her fingers came away coated in scarlet liquid.

“Yes.”  James coolly replied.  “You see, my wife is mentally disturbed.  She forgot to take her medicine this morning.  It makes her a little irrational when she goes without.  She tends to act out.  I assure you everything is under control.”  He crouched down by Barbara and reached out a hand to her.  “How about you come inside, hmm, so we can take care of you?”

“No.”  Barbara flinched away from James, but remained careful to keep herself between him and Jim.  “No.  No, please, stop this, James.  Just stop.  _Please_.”

“I think.”  Vernon stepped forward and commanded James, “You need to get away from her.  Now.”  There were murmurs and nods of agreement from the other parents and guardians.

James looked at them all.  His eyes narrowed.  “Fine,” he muttered.  He stood and brushed dirt off his pants.  His gaze fell on Barbara.  “That cut will probably leave a nasty scar, so it’s not like you’re worth anything to me now.”  He spat on the ground in front of her and then stalked off.

Barbara stared after him.  Her brain refused to register anything.  It kept running in circles.  Everything felt numb.  She barely felt Jim shaking her arm or heard him ask, “Mom?  Mom?  Mom?  Mom?” or Margaret tell him “Hush now, sweetheart” then say to her, “Come on, dearie, I’ll get you a bandage.”  Barbara’s brain knew when it stood up in response, but it felt like she was moving through thick sludge.  She didn’t make eye contact with anyone as she walked, but felt the crowd’s gaze boring into her.  Barbara focused on Jim, who’d attached himself to her leg and refused to let go.  That made the walking bit somewhat difficult.

Then, somehow, she was on the couch and Margaret was dabbing disinfectant on her jaw, down the side of her neck, and to her shoulder.  The cut wasn’t deep, but James’s claw-like nails had sliced away a long stretch off the top layers of her skin.  Barbara whispered the proper way to bandage the wound to Margaret.  Her brain latched onto its medical knowledge.  It was something familiar.  Something good.  Reassuring.

Barbara hardly noticed when the cut healed itself completely within a couple minutes, which shocked Margaret.  Though, the older woman decided not to comment on that.  Yet.

Rather Margaret told Barbara she’d handle getting everyone to leave.  But Barbara couldn’t muster a response.  Jim lay his head down in her lap and she found herself absently stroking her fingers through his hair.  They remained like that for an indefinite amount of time.

The sky outside was growing dark when Margaret returned.  The stream of people that had exited silently through the front door had subsided.

“How about you come over and sleep at our house tonight, sweetie?” Margaret asked softly.

Barbara just nodded.  Followed her across the street.  She lay awake under a blanket on the Domzalskis’ couch for hours, watching Jim, who’d refused to leave her, sleep.

Eventually, Barbara rose and went to sit on the Domzalskis’ front porch to stare at her own house, with its somber, darkened windows and lack of James’s car.  Finally, she buried her head in her knees and cried.  Sobs wracked her body until she heard a twig snap.  Barbara froze.  Every muscle in her body tensed.  She jerked her head up.

There was a creature, like James had been, but it was not him.  This one was taller, broader, purple, and had light blue veins glowing across his body.  He observed Barbara with calm, red eyes.  He sort of reminded Barbara of-

“Vernon?” She whispered, her voice hoarse.  “You’re a…you’re…”

“I am a troll.  But I assure you, Barbara, I mean you no harm.  Tonight, I guard our domicile.  In the event of your husband’s return, he will not make it past me.”  Vernon punctuated this last statement by swinging his massive battle axe in the air with one hand, bringing it down, and catching it in the other.  He took a breath.  “And my true name is Vraxel.  After today, I believe it is time you knew of that.”  

Barbara was quiet.  Her eyes focused on the axe glinting in the moonlight.  Then, “Can you teach me how to use that?”

 


	5. Commencement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barbara graduates medical school

“Mom?”Jim shook Barbara’s shoulder. _“Mom_.”He shook her harder.He sounded distant.Like he was yelling across a deep void.“Mom!”Jim climbed in Barbara’s lap, put his hands on her shoulders, and shook her with both hands.“ _MOM_!”

Barbara blinked.The world jerked into focus.“Jim?Jim, what is it?What’s wrong?”She tensed.Looked around while one hand reached for her new battle axe, but there was no immediate, visible danger.

“Mom, you did the thing again.”Jim sat back, but remained in her lap.“The thing where it’s like you aren’t even here anymore.Please don’t go away.I’ll be good.I’ll-”

“Jim, sweetie, it’s ok.”Barbara pulled him into close.She hugged him.“I’m here.I’m not going anyway.I just…”

They’d been watching TV.A couple day break between the last of her exams and her graduation ceremony provided a much needed reprieve for mother and son to just spend time together.In the two months since James departed their lives, between Barbara’s final exams and the start of her Troll-fighting training under Vraxel, they hadn’t had much of that. 

Barbara hadn’t meant to space out.There’d been a commercial.For James’s favorite chewing gum, which she’d remembered because it always made his breath taste minty when he’d kissed her.Barbara hugged Jim tighter.Focused on the scent of his shampoo, the feel of him against her.Jim was there.He was real.He was her son and she loved him.She took a deep breath and centered him in her thoughts.She couldn’t think of James.Every time she did, she went numb and lost herself.She couldn’t do that.She needed to be present.For Jim.Barbara closed her eyes.“I’m sorry.”

The doorbell rang.

Both Jim and Barbara jumped off the couch.Barbara grabbed her axe and hefted it up.She motioned Jim to stay behind her.Advanced toward the door.Hid her axe behind her back when she saw it was her parents at the door through its window.

“Just a minute!”She called to them while maneuvering toward the kitchen.“I forgot I left the stove on!”

Barbara hid her axe in a cupboard.She could only hope her parents hadn’t seen it.She took a deep breath and tried to remember what Vraxel had told her about changelings.They could only transform into a single, human form.If her parents weren’t already changelings (which they weren’t, otherwise she’d be part changeling, and they tested that and she wasn’t), a changeling couldn’t pretend to be them.Still, she opened a second cupboard and took out a gaggletack, which she held out to Jim.

“Remember how we played the horseshoe game with Mrs. Murphy at kindergarten?”Barbara asked him.

Jim eyed the gaggletack.He’d never liked it.His changeling half was dormant, so the magic object didn’t truly affect him.But he’d told Barbara when he held it, it still sent uncomfortable prickles into his hand.“Yes, mom.”Jim sighed.

“We just have to do it once more with each of them.Only for a minute, and then you can throw it wherever you want as long as I can retrieve it later.”Barbara stroked Jim’s cheek.“I know you don’t like it, but-”

“We have to be safe.”Jim finished for her.

“Yes.”Barbara pulled him in for another quick hug.“We have to be safe.”

They went to answer the door.While Barbara distracted her parents with welcomes, Jim quickly wove his way between the adults and tapped both his grandparents’ exposed ankles with the gaggletack.Nothing happened, so he chucked it into a bush just outside the door.Barbara made note of the location for later retrieval.Then she gestured for Jim to come to stand beside her.

“Mom, dad, this is Jim.Jim, these are your grandparents.You know the ones who always call…” Barbara was about to say “on your birthday”, but let those final words die before they made it out.The less thought about that day, the better.“The ones who called at last Christmas?”She couldn’t actually remember whether they had or not, but it was a safe bet.

“Hey there, junior!I’m your granddad!”Barbara’s father put his hands on his knees and bent down to be at Jim’s height.

Jim flinched and hid behind Barbara’s leg.

“Hey now, there’s no need to be scared.I may be big, but I’m a big ole softy.”Barbara’s father chuckled.He reached for Jim again and the little boy hid completely behind his mother.

“Dad-”

“Now, now.Howard, he’s probably just a bit nervous since he’s never met us in person before.”Barbara’s mother, Holly, cut her off.“It’s alright, Jimmy dear, we’re really very nice and we’d love to get to know you.”

Jim grabbed onto Barbara’s legs.

Barbara stroked his hair.“It’s ok, kiddo.”She picked him up and held him against her protectively.“You don’t have to say hi if you don’t want to.”She whispered in his ear. 

Then, Barbara adjusted her hold on Jim so she could speak to her parents.“Sorry, he’s a little shy when it comes to meeting new people.How about you guys go up and get settled?You’ll be staying in my room.It’s the first bedroom after the bathroom.In the meantime, we’ll go get a start on lunch.”She said this last part to Jim, who nodded back.Barbara turned back to her parents and hoped her expression communicated that she would tolerate no arguments to her plan.She knew the signs of Jim getting anxious and was already working on a plan to calm him while they were otherwise occupied.

Neither Holly nor Howard argued.They quietly headed upstairs.

Barbara sighed in relief.

…

That night, Barbara crept around the house.She checked on her parents, who were both thankfully asleep.After lunch, they’d argued to sleep on the couch so she could stay in her bed, but she’d won that argument on the grounds that, in their old age, they had many more aches and pains than she.Barbara didn’t have it in her to tell them she been sleeping on the couch for the past two months anyway.The idea of sleeping in her, and _James_ ’s, room was, well…the couch wasn’t too uncomfortable once you got used to it.

Barbara opened the door to Jim’s room as softly as she could.

“Mom?”

Dammit.He was awake.

“Yeah, kiddo?”Barbara walked into her son’s room and sat on the end of his bed.“What is it?”

Jim crawled over to her and sat beside her.He looked up at his mom expectantly.“Can I come with you?”He yawned.“I wanna see you kick Toby’s grandpa’s butt.”

“Jim, you need to sleep.”

“ _Please_.”

Barbara sighed.“Oh, all right, but remember the rules.You’ll have to stay on their back steps and not come into the yard at all while we’re training.”

“Yay!”Jim jumped off his bed with a loud thump that made Barbara wince.“You’re gonna-”

“Shhh!Jim.Quiet!”Barbara hushed him.“We don’t want to wake up Grandma and Grandpa.Ok?”

“Ok.”Jim whispered back conspiratorially.

Together, they went downstairs.Barbara retrieved her axe and the gaggletack (and returned the latter to its cupboard).Then, with her son’s hand in her own and her axe in the other, Barbara led the way over to the Domzalski house.

When Barbara knocked, Margaret let them inside and through to the kitchen, where the older woman went about getting Jim a cookie and a warm glass of milk.

“Where’s Toby?”Jim looked around for his friend, but he wasn’t there.

Margaret returned the milk to the fridge.“At home with his father, dearie.But don’t worry.He’s going to spend the entire day with us next Saturday.You can play with him them.”

“Oh.”Jim kicked at the floor, but took the milk and cookie regardless.Snack in hand, he went out to the backyard to say hello to Vraxel, who was warming up for that night’s training session.

Margaret stopped Barbara from following her son.“I talked to Ralph about Jim, like we discussed.He’s more than willing to answer any questions you have.”She held out a scrap of paper to Barbara with a phone number on it.“Call him whenever you’re ready.He’s part-troll not changeling, so he said to tell you he won’t know exactly what Jim’ll go through.But he wants to help however he can.”

Barbara stared at the scrap paper before taking it.“Thank you.”She paused.“I can’t this weekend.I-I’m graduating tomorrow.My parents are in town and just.Not the weekend.I can’t.But, after that.”She thought for a minute.“Will he be here next Saturday too?To drop off Toby, at least?”

“Yes, he will.”Margaret smiled.She patted Barbara’s arm.“And congratulations!You’ve worked so hard to become a doctor.We may not be related, but I am proud-”

“Hey, mom!Come on!You gotta kick his butt!”Jim yelled at Barbara from his place atop Vraxel’s shoulders.The troll stood just outside the doorway.

Vraxel snorted and crossed his arms at Jim’s words.“We’ll see who kicks whose butt.I am not a foe easily defeated.”

“I bet it’s gonna be my mom!She’s awesome!And you’re just a troll dude.”Jim maneuvered so he was leaning over Vraxel’s head (and between his horns) to look the troll in the eyes (even though he himself had to be upside down to accomplish this).

“You have pluck for one so young.”Vraxel responded.“It’s a commendable trait.”He frowned quite seriously for all of a second before sticking his tongue out and making a funny face at Jim.Then he took hold of the little boy and lifted him up in his arms.

Jim shrieked with laughter as Vraxel swung him around once before carefully putting him down on the ground. 

“But a child should never forget how to laugh.”Vraxel told Jim quietly.He turned to Barbara.“Are you ready to begin?”

Barbara looked between the troll and her son, but Jim seemed perfectly content being near Vraxel.She nodded.“Yes.”

They went out into the backyard.

Barbara inhaled deeply, gripped the handle of her axe, and took up the fighting stance Vraxel had taught her.She’d been practicing as often as she could.She knew she had it right this time.For once, she was going to win.She looked to Vraxel, who stood opposite.

“Move your feet a little farther apart.Keep your weight balanced.”Vraxel called over to her.“Good.”He added when Barbara did as instructed.“Now adjust your grip.I can see from here that it’s off.”When Barbara did, he charged.

Barbara dodged Vraxel’s attack.Ducked right.Twisted around.Swung her axe in an arc at the large troll. 

He deflected her attack with ease.Laughed.“You’re getting better!”

“And you shouldn’t talk so much.”Barbara gasped for a breath, but didn’t stop moving.Stopping meant hesitation and hesitation left her open and vulnerable.She would not be vulnerable.Not again.Not ever again.

Their axes met between them.The metal of the blade heads hit each other and send a shower of sparks to the ground.Both Barbara and Vraxel jumped back.

“Go Mom!”Jim shouted from his place on the steps.

Barbara didn’t allow herself to glance at her son as she had on previous Practice Nights.Taking her focus off her opponent gave said opponent an opening.But maybe.That gave her an idea.She glanced at Vraxel.Turned her head ever so slightly to face Jim.Pretended to get distracted.

Vraxel took the bait.He lunged.

Barbara ducked to the side.Vraxel rushed past her.She swung and hit his torso with the flat side of her axe.Her attack knocked him off his feet.Barbara scrambled forward.Got her axe at Vraxel’s throat.

“Yield.”Her chest heaved with every breath she took.Barbara couldn’t help but smile.She’d won.For once, she’d actually-

Vraxel kicked out.Knocked Barbara’s feet out from under her.He was up in an instant and she was down.Vraxel loomed.His axe at Barbara’s throat.His shadow fell on her.“I do apologize, but tonight is not the night you best me.”He knocked her axe out of her grip and away from her with ease. 

Then he held out a hand to her.“Perhaps tomorrow.You are improving.”

Barbara let Vraxel help her up.She gratefully took one of the water bottles Jim rushed over to them with.“It’s not that late yet.One more match?”

“One more match.”Vraxel agreed.

In the end, Jim fell asleep midway through their third training bout.Margaret took him up to the Ralph’s old bedroom to tuck him into bed for the night.Then, just before dawn, Barbara retrieved Jim and took him home to his own bed.She settled on the couch and pretended she’d been there all night when her parents came downstairs the next morning.

…

Barbara felt Jim squirm in her lap.She was proud of him for being patient through the first hour of the graduation ceremony, but even such a well-behaved child as he could grow tired of boring people giving long, winding speeches about the future of that day’s graduates.

So, Barbara took off her cap and playfully plopped it down on Jim’s head.He reached up to touch the cap and then looked up at her, a wide smile across his face.Barbara grinned right back and wrapped her arms around her son.

Jim squirmed again.“ _Mooom_.”

“What?”Barbara whispered.She rested her chin atop his head, though it was hard with her graduation cap now poking her neck.“Can’t I be proud of my little doctor on his graduation day?”

“ _Moooom_.You’re the one graduating!You’re the one wearing the special dress thingy and everything!”

Barbara couldn’t help but laugh.“Oh?I hadn’t noticed.”

“Stop being silly, mom!This is Very Serious and Important and…” Jim wiggled around so he was facing her.“And, and Stuff.Important Stuff.”

“Oh, I see.”Barbara sat back in her seat and returned her attention to the current presenter and whatever they were saying.Jim followed suit.

“ _ahem._ ”The graduate sitting immediately to Barbara’s right coughed.When she turned toward him, he said, “Is this really the best place for a child?Couldn’t he have sat with your family or something?”

“No.”Barbara said flatly.Without thinking about it, she tightened her grip around Jim.

On the one hand, the graduate did have a point.Carrying her five-year-old son in the procession and then letting him sit on her lap while she sat in the graduates section wasn’t exactly keeping to tradition.On the other, she wouldn’t put it past James to choose that day, in all its importance, to be the day he reappeared and tried to steal Jim away again.She couldn’t just leave Jim with her parents.They weren’t prepared like she was, if that were the case.

“I’m sorry, mom.I’ll go-” Jim started to climb off Barbara’s lap.

She stopped him.“Jim.It’s ok.You’ve done nothing wrong.”Barbara glared at the other graduate.

“But I’m supposed to like Grandma and Grandpa, like Toby likes Nana and Papi.”Jim looked down away from Barbara.“And I was supposed to sit with them and-”

“Jim.Honey, shush.You’re ok.Everything’s fine.”Barbara stopped him.She tilted Jim’s chin up so he was looking at her.“Your grandparents love you very much.They’re not upset with you.” 

Yes, they were disappointed that their grandson was nervous around them and subsequently didn’t really like being in their presence all too much, but Barbara wasn’t about to tell Jim that.He’d been just as hurt by James as she had.He needed time too.Perhaps more, since he couldn’t understand things like she could.She wasn’t going to rush him for their sakes.

“So I can stay with you, mom?”The hope on Jim’s face clearly stated that’s what he wanted.

Barbara stroked her hand around his face.“Yes, Jim.”

Smiling again, Jim climbed back up on her lap.A moment later, he asked, “How much longer?”

“Just a bit.You’re doing great, kiddo.I’m very proud of you.”

Jim toyed with the tassel on Barbara’s graduation cap.Something was definitely still on his mind, so Barbara kept her attention on him rather than going back to the ceremony.

“Mom?I know you’re gonna be busy with being a doctor and stuff, but you’re not going anywhere.Right?”Jim finally faced her.He bit his lip.Barbara could see the tears welling in his eyes.

“No.Jim, I’ll never leave you.”Barbara pulled Jim in close and squeezed him.“I promise.No matter what.It’s going to be just you and me now, so we’ll have to take care of each other.Alright?”

“Yeah.”Despite being in public, Jim snuggled up against her.

Barbara put a hand on the back of his head.She blinked back her own tears.Yes, it would just be them.She could do this.She may not be really sure of the how of it, but she could do this.

She’d made it through med school.

Through a move across the United States.

Through an unexpected pregnancy and an entrance into motherhood of the best little boy she could have hoped for.

Through learning her husband was a changeling and everything, _everything_ , that entailed.

Through finding out that one of her kindly neighbors had married a literal troll.

Who was now teaching her to fight with a battle axe.

Barbara hugged Jim close.Went back to trying to listen to the presenter on the stage tell her all the great things the future had in store.

Yes, she could definitely do this.

…

Late that night, when Barbara was alone, fiery golden magic sprung from her fingertips when she called for it.She carefully moved her hand and watched as the magic flickered and danced.She could feel it course through her veins, like it had always been a part of her.Never, before now, had it been the right time for it to awaken.

But the shadow of James, of change, had passed.A new sun rose.

Barbara clenched her fist, which became engulfed in magical flame.

And she held it in the palm of her hand.


End file.
